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"undo what has been undone to the unknown..."
Friday, March 26, 2004
Breaking News
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Thursday, March 18, 2004
PretendGeniusPress to steal the show and anything else laying around...
PretendGeniusPress will be one of the main players at the annual Small Press Book Fair held in the Washington D.C. area. Rumor has it that Sean Brijbasi, J. Tyler Blue, Josh Davis, and the Stereocean dancing girls (appropriately dressed) will be there in full force representing PretendGeniusPress on April 24th. The Obliterati will have embedders to bring you the full story with pictures and without.
Mergon Droodle
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Untitled
this is an old story. in candi's memory. wherever she and her grasshoppers are.
my nurse's name was candi. she used to be a stripper at a country/western bar. she married a guy in the airforce named bill. one night she decided to come over and visit me with a friend of theirs, another guy from the military. since i looked so nice lying in bed with no make-up on and everything. the door was locked and i was in bed so they took the screen off my bedroom windown and climbed through. bill, candi the nurse stripper, and i can't even remember my date's name. see how i am? anyway, she was making grasshoppers. some awful drink with creme de menthe in it. she kept going into the kitchen. then she got drunk, stripped on my bed, showed me her appendectomy scar, and the police knocked on the door. seems like one of my neighbors reported some suspicious activity around my bedroom window. they were all asked to leave via the front door. the next morning when my other person came in to make breakfast, she screamed. i guess candi had been making grasshoppers in my blender with the lid off. there was green shit all over the walls and the ceiling. i wonder whatever happened to candi. i miss her.
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Sunday, March 14, 2004
Everything must go
Only three two one none of the 25 hand-numbered and signed copies remain of the first edition of The London Silence. This is a special offer for pre-orders; delivery will not be for about two months.*
You'll travel many miles before you will ever get a chance to acquire such a rarie again, so don't let it slip. It's a long way to slip a rarie.
Julia Melloncamp
*You can still order signed un-numbered copies of the first edition (75 still available.) The second edition will follow immediately.
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Friday, March 12, 2004
Untitled
Dear Obliterati
I'd like to invite you all to the grand opening of my notebook. I've been really rather poorly lately so there's not much in it other than various lists detailing my aches, pains and illnesses. I have such a hard deal. I'm an ex pat and having to live with all these common englanders ( although I'd never let this be known as I fully promote spiritual loving and sharing with huge oodles of love, understanding, tolerance and home baked cookies for all ) is a bit of a pain in my huge american poorly ass. Some kind soul will arrange the nibbles and the juice will flow freely ( not mines darlings - I'm a bit old and dried up in that department ) Anyhows - toodle ooo. I'm off to lie down and recover from the huge effort involved in typing out this open invitation.
Yours Floozabel Switch-Hard.
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Monday, March 08, 2004
Letter from a Genuine Reader
Dear obLiterati
I wish to complain on behalf of concerned parents about the hidden messages embedded in your audio page. I have discovered that when different combinations of the first three items are emplayified simultaneously, they reveal messages to cult members to go out and massacre cartoon characters. I would like to offer my patented aluminium foil hood with premium-guage Perspex™ eyepieces for protection from evil influences through computer screens, if you would kindly allow me to advertise here.
(Note to Editor: please do not print my address.)
GalacticSlayer, 1204 Jalopy Flats, Parsipanny, N.J.
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Sunday, March 07, 2004
when yr eyes get tired, you can listen.
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is this thing on?
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Friday, March 05, 2004
Review of a Review
This guy certainly knows his onions. He's been around the block a few times too, on a motorbike I wouldn't be surprised. Here, see for yourself: The Compulsive Reader review of Still Life in Motion.
Fergus Singh DeBleuys
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Thursday, March 04, 2004
Special Report
Barnaby Rutthlebone here, reporting live from nightclub 2Zoos. The commotion is very commotive here as I stand before a thong of women clamoring for...well I can't make out who it is. I can barely hear above the wild shriek-like sounds emanating from perfectly perky lips but I believe the DJ is making an announcement. My sources did tell me that J. Tyler Blue was making an appearance tonight and I fully expect him to appear from the giant cake in the middle of the dance floor. Wait, something's happening. The women are going crazy now. Completely berserk. I can't see. I can't verify if it is indeed J. Tyler Blue coming out of the cake. I've made my way to the front of the crowd now. Oh my! It's J. Tylue Blue and Bloog Mandrake. The thong of women here are chanting Blueg Blueg Blueg. It's pandemonium.
filed by
Barnaby Rutthlebone
Feelancer
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My paranoia prevented my success. Oh wait, maybe it's just because I dont know code.
-SleepingLime-
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Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Cerebralty Sightings
They walk by night, the undead pGpr authors with their hellhounds.
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Letters
Dear pGpr,
you don't have many girl on your roster.
A Genuine Reader
Busted Flats, Baton Rouge
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Children! not in front of the customers...
Smedley
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Bob, there is no need for negativity. So piss off.
Valerie Kleber
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This is a message. It has my name at the bottom. You ought to try it.
Bob Preston
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Tuesday, March 02, 2004
where are the nakid boys. an irish santa claus lookylikey told me thir wis nakid boys here.
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Conspiracy Against PretendGeniusPress?
As was reported before this journal's existence, there has been strong evidence of a conspiracy against PretendGeniusPress. From the blowing up of their facilities in the Faeroe Islands that housed most of their pseudonyms to the recent compromising (but unsubstantiated) reports that they edit their work. And now this from Poets and Writers Magazine. A typo and a misplacement. As you'll see in documents obtained by The Obliterati the word 'genius' is spelled 'genuis' by Poets and Writers Magazine. Surely a slap in the face to these fearless publishers and an indication that PretendGeniusPress is shaking up the publishing world. Not to mention the neutering of deftly crafted copy by one of PretendGeniusPress' sublimest minds. Poets and Writers? Where?
This reporter for one would like to call on all poets and writers to write to their congressperson or worthless government official and demand an investigation. This outrage must not stand.
Here: PretendGeniusPress in Poets and Writers
Mergon Droodle
Embedder in Training
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Ms Houllebecqder, we have confirmed that Ms. Carter was riding Stephen's back like a little monkey at one of the Oscar parties. As a highly professional and dedicated actress, Ms. Carter was simply staying in character for the upcoming Planet of the Apes sequel "Love Monkey". Good sport that Stephen. And yes, your other roommate Ms. Sturmey-Archer did see Bryan E there as well. Not playing drinking games mind you, but trying to sell movie rights to his upcoming book. We're not sure if there were any takers, but we hear that he did get laid by one of the nominees for 'Best Extra in a Documentary Featuring Full Frontal Nudity'. Good show Bryan.
Ortwright Gerder
Obliterati Correspondent
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Monday, March 01, 2004
Please settle a bet for us. My roommate swears that she saw Stephen Moran with Nicole Kidman in a shot of one of those after-Oscar parties last night. I have bet her a pack of thongs that she is wrong. I'm pretty sure I saw Stephen pass by on the red carpet with Helena Bonham Carter riding on his back, and goading him on with a riding crop and silver spurs. (Ooh, I don't know now! I think I might have dreamed that bit.) Our other roommate, Crystal-Melanie Sturmey-Archer thinks she recognised Bryan E in the background having a raucous time with other frat-packers playing a drinking game with tequila slammers or something (I don't know what she's talking about.) Anyway I'm like, shut up beatch, nobody's ever seen Bryan E, and she's like that's where you're wrong, because she went to his room after a book signing. So please pGpr, tell us who was at the Oscars from your authors.
Wendy May Houllebecqder
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If I order a signed copy of Josh's book can I request that it be dedicated to Heavenly Hirani Fifi Trixibelle please? (It's not for me.)
Chip Larson
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Do any of the autters ever come here? Maybe you can give me some writhing advisory? How do I go around getting publicated? Is this a patriotic straight up and down place too, with no European perverts and such? I just thot I'd check. There was a sackrolagious poem on one of these sites last week by Jackues Pervert, according to the K. K. Kronikal.
Don Key
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Hello, I am The Great Suspendo.
This looks like a cool place to hang.
The Great Suspendo
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my parents dont use chemical weapons. they're just defense mechanisms.
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i'm not crazy because i'm a loner. i'm a loner because you're crazy
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so if i post here, this is one of those things where i give up the rights to what i say? if i post, do i get my name listed as an 'embedder'?
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